she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
