i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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