what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
