Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
