PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Randomize
