I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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