sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
