did you get engaged???
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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