someone get that fucking seahorse.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
