i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
