Just fell off a train. Bad.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I think I just sharted jello shots
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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