she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
