you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
