Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
