Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
