She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
