His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
