And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
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Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
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You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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