what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize