she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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