i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
