I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
