So drunk its hurt
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
