he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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