I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
