How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
