I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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