I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
