3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
