arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
