Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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