So drunk its hurt
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
