It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
