Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
