How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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