Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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