Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
