i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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