I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I will be naked everywhere
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
