I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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