I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize