Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
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I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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