YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
