your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
