8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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