How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize