u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
