If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think I sprained my soul last night
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
