woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
