I don't usually arrange sex via text message
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
