PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
