I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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