I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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