just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
