The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
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what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
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Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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