Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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