What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
