Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
