there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
