; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
