a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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