So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
