Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
